


To the Ephemeral Ones

by FlyAndDontLookBack



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Best Friends, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Time Travel, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 03:02:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11118555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyAndDontLookBack/pseuds/FlyAndDontLookBack
Summary: Kuroko has the power to rewind time, but with a price. The bigger the reason for rewinding, the more his lifespan shortens. He's been cautious for so long, but when Kagami gets into an irreversible accident, it's up to Kuroko to choose whether he wants to rewind or not. Will he rewind for the sake of his friend, or stay the way it is for the sake of his own? charadeath. oneshot





	To the Ephemeral Ones

_“You’ve become the talk of the show ever since prelims started. Everybody has their eyes on you. Do you think Japan is going to win this year’s NBA?”_

_“I have no doubt about it. I believe in my team and I believe in myself.”_

_“And you’re so young as well. Exactly how old are you?”_

_“Twenty-two.”_

_“Amazing, one of the youngest players this season. How do you feel knowing that you’re one of the best players we’ve seen yet?”_

_“It’s reassuring, if I’m completely honest.”_

_“Reassuring? What do you mean by that?”_

_“It means that I’m fulfilling a promise I made to a good friend.”_

_“Then, what a good friend he is. Would you say that your friend is the reason why you started to play?”_

_“No. He’s the reason why I kept going. And I make sure to smile at that every single day.”_

* * *

“Kagami-kun, you have to eat.”

The red-head looks at the bland hospital food with disgust before turning his head to the side in rejection. “I want good food. I’m tired of eating the same gloop.”

“Please don’t be picky.” Kagami’s visitor replies with a deep sigh. He’s heard the same thing over and over again.

“Is it so wrong get take out? One goddamn hamburger?” Kagami keeps fighting and his visitor does his version of an eye roll.

“You heard the doctors. No hamburgers. Last time you did, you filled the room with so much trash, the nurses couldn’t stop insulting you.”

“Who cares about them? My stomach isn’t going to be satisfied with just this, Kuroko, and you know it. I just want to eat some good food. Let’s go downstairs, please? Even a Starbucks panini sandwich will do. Come on, please?” Kagami begs and the man with him, Kuroko, sighs once more before finally relenting.

“I believe we can do that. As long as you keep your room clean, I don’t think we’ll have much of a problem.” Kuroko yields and Kagami raises his fist in the air in victory.

Carefully, ever so carefully, Kagami and Kuroko work together to lift the bigger and heavier red-head from the bed. Kuroko first brings the wheelchair close to the bed and then folds the bed sheet to expose Kagami’s shriveling legs. Kagami has to look away while Kuroko is doing this because it always kills the red-head to see his dying lower half.

Kuroko then takes one of Kagami’s legs from the bed and slowly pulls it to the edge of the bed, repeating the same step with the other so that Kagami is now fully sitting on the bed. Kagami does the rest by pushing himself up with his still functioning arms. He plops onto the wheelchair with Kuroko holding the handles so that the wheels don’t roll away. When Kagami is fully settled, Kuroko walks over to one of the shelves and takes out a white blanket and Kagami receives it gratefully, draping it over his legs until nothing is visible.

Soon enough, they’re out and about, going to the first floor to get some food from the outside world. Kuroko begins to roll the wheelchair onto the hallway where they’re greeted by familiar nurses and doctors.

“Sick of our food?” One of the doctors says with a teasing smile on his face and Kagami grins back, glad to see this friendly man.

“Don’t even get me started.” Kagami responds before they wave in goodbye and they arrive to the elevators. Patiently, they go down from the fifth floor to the first and they both see a huge line coming from Starbucks.

Kagami groans. “Why is it always filled with people? I just want a simple panini, goddamn it.”

“Maybe they’ll let us cut to the front of the line.” Kuroko suggests but Kagami grimaces.

“I’m not using my pathetic appearance as an excuse to cut in line, Kuroko.” Kagami angrily says. “Why are you always so blunt?”

“I’m sorry, Kagami-kun. I didn’t mean it like that.” Kuroko replies with a bow, realizing a bit too late that his remark was out of line, but Kagami clicks his tongue with dissatisfaction.

“I’m constantly reminded of my failures, you know? My legs are useless now, no hope of ever recovering, and I’m just so sick and tired of people looking at me with pity in their eyes. Aomine came in just a few days ago and he couldn’t stop looking at me with those fucking eyes. I couldn’t even ask him what he does for a living because I kicked him out before he could even talk. I hate it. I hate it so much and you’ve just reminded me again of how terrible I look. Thanks Kuroko. Fucking thanks.” Kagami shouts, attracting the attention of the people around them and Kuroko’s ears burn in guilt.

“Kagami-kun…” Kuroko trails off, not knowing what to say, and Kagami grunts.

“Just… Let’s go back. I want to sleep.”

“But you have to eat.”

“I’ve lost my appetite.”

“But—”

“Will you please just take me back? Or better yet, let me do it myself. It’s the least I can do to show myself I’m not completely useless. Just go home, Kuroko. I don’t need you.” Kagami says with anger still lacing his words, but also with a bit of sorrow and pain. He shakes off Kuroko’s grip from the wheelchair’s handles and he begins to roll the wheels on his own, though anyone can tell he’s having a hard time doing so. He’s lost muscle, a lot of it, and it pains Kuroko greatly to see his best friend like this.

Kuroko messed up, he knows, and he wants to make it right again. Sure, the fight could have dispelled in just a couple of days but Kuroko isn’t as patient now as he once was when he was in high school. Not now especially, when, even after 5 years, Kagami still can’t get used to the fact that he can no longer walk.

So, he takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and as if someone pressed the rewind button, the retreating figure of the red-head comes closer to Kuroko, and Kagami is back with him gripping the wheelchair again.

_That’s another five minutes off my life._

“Why is it always filled with people? I just want a simple panini, goddamn it.” Kagami groans as he looks at the massive line. Kuroko lets out a cough, a simple five minutes already draining much of his energy, and Kagami looks at him worriedly.

“You ok? Do you have a cold?”

“No, I’m fine. I choke a bit on my own saliva. Would you like to eat somewhere else then, Kagami-kun? Or at another Starbucks?” 

“Nah, let’s just wait.” And as the two best friends step in line with the rest of the bystanders, they go into a comfortable conversation, completely forgetting the wait, and don’t even realize so much time has gone by.

And when Kagami finishes his five paninis, they spend the rest of the day watching the sky turn from a clear teal to a majestic orange purple glow.

Time, somehow, is working both with and against them.

* * *

“Kise visited today.” Kagami brings up as Kuroko prepares a bowl of warm water.

“Is that so?” Kuroko replies.

Kagami nods as Kuroko begins to unfold the bedsheets to reveal Kagami’s thinning legs. They look unnatural, considering Kagami’s bulky upper half but none mention it. Instead, Kuroko dips a fluffy white cloth onto the water and begins to wash Kagami’s lower half.

“Bastard’s been getting more famous by the second but apparently still has the time to see me.”

“Kise-kun is always very considerate, Kagami-kun.”

“Still, it isn’t easy when you’re one of the most famous Japanese models out there. And he’s only our age, too. It’s amazing how much he could accomplish in such little time. How long has it been since we first met?”

“Six years, I believe. When we were still in high school.”

“Yeah.” Kagami says, nostalgia apparent in his words. “When I could still play. When I still had working legs.”

“It is still not too late, Kagami-kun.”

“Maybe, but it might be. So much time has passed already, and we’ve gotten nothing. I’ve wasted the rest of my high school here and I can’t even dream about college right now, not when doctors are still examining me. Exactly how much do I have to wait, Kuroko? How much before they finally help me?” Kagami pleads and the only thing Kuroko can do is look away so that the red-head doesn’t see his pain and guilt.

_Had I used my powers then, none of this would have happened._

“I do not know, Kagami-kun. I cannot go to the future. I am not a doctor. I don’t know what’s going on and I’m sorry I can’t give you a straightforward answer.”

Kagami nods, biting his lip as he trembles, trying not to cry. “I know, Kuroko. I’m sorry. I gave you such a hard question that you didn’t even have to answer. I just…”

“Kagami-kun?”

Kuroko waits for Kagami to finish his sentence but the red-head merely smiles and shakes his head. “It’s nothing. There’s nothing left to do but to wait. I’m a patient guy. I can wait.”

Kuroko searches for something in Kagami’s eyes and sees the light in his eyes fade even more. Unable to say anything that may comfort him, Kuroko just nods as he finishes cleaning Kagami’s legs. He’s been doing this for five years now, and though Kagami had told him countless of times that he didn’t have to do this, Kuroko still insists.

Was it for the benefit of his friend, to show Kagami that, regardless of the accident, there would still be people supporting him, or his own because of the guilt gnawing at the back of his head?

Nevertheless, he finishes and Kagami thanks him.

“What did you and Kise-kun talk about?” Kuroko then asks as he dumps the excess water into the sink. 

Kagami ponders, tapping his chin, and says, “We mostly talked about his job. Apparently, he caught the eye photographers in the France, so he might go there for a while.”

“That is impressive.”

“It is.” And abruptly, Kagami covers his face with his pillow. “Goddamn it, he’s moving forward too quickly. I won’t be able to catch up.”

And again, Kuroko can’t say anything for fear of saying the wrong thing; for fear of using his powers again.

* * *

“Midorima dropped by yesterday.”

“Did he? What did you two talk about?”

Kagami shrugs. “Apparently he’s so ahead of his studies that he might graduate a year early. Isn’t that insane? Normally you’d take at least seven years to become a doctor but Midorima, that bastard, is going to do it in only six.”

“That is truly admirable. Midorima-kun was always extremely smart and it is not a surprise how well he is doing at school. I heard he’s the top of his generation by a milestone.”

“I knew he was good but I didn’t think he would be that good, you know? I always thought there would be at least some obstacles in his way but it just looks like he’s breezing along. It’s frustrating.”

“Frustrating?” Kuroko asks aloud and Kagami runs a hand through his long, untidy hair.

“Bastard should be having a harder time. Instead, he’s not only mastering his studies but he’s also still keeping up with sports. What kind of super human is he?”

“He’s still playing?” Kuroko asks in surprise and Kagami nods with a grimace.

“Part of his college basketball team and they’re practically winning every game they’re in because of his stupid three pointers. It’s so frustrating. I’ve even heard that he’s able to shoot non-stop for all four quarters now. What a monster.” Kuroko doesn’t fail to hear the respect in Kagami’s voice.

“I could have done the same.” Kagami bitter remarks.

“What do you mean?” Kuroko asks, dread slowly pooling his gut.

“It was always a battle of stamina with him. Whoever lost steam first would lose first. We were always neck and neck, never knowing who would lose it first. But now, I can tell for sure who would lose in a one-on-one, and it would be me.”

“But you have your reasons and circumstances, Kagami-kun.” Kuroko tries to reason but that makes Kagami even angrier.

“I know. And that’s what’s so frustrating to me. Here I am, completely immobile, having wasted five years of my precious life, only to be met with people who have gone on and beyond. It’s so frustrating to see people I know become so great already. Five years is such a long time, Kuroko. Who knows what I could have accomplished in those five years if I wasn’t strapped to the bed like this? I could’ve— I could’ve—”

There it is. The glassy look Kagami always had when he thought about what could have been. Kuroko hates when he gets like this because it just stabs the red-head’s heart even further into mush and there’s absolutely nothing Kuroko can do to pull him out.

So he does the next best thing. Harboring his energy, he rewinds to the beginning of the conversation, with Kagami looking out the window as if he wants to join the clouds. The sky turns a lighter tone of gray and clouds slowly begin to cover its blueness.

“Midorima dropped by yesterday.” Kagami says and Kuroko nods, slightly dizzy.

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, told me he’s so ahead of his studies that he might graduate a year early. Isn’t that insane? Normally you’d take at least seven years to become a doctor but Midorima, that bastard, is going to do it in only six.”

“It is. Did you talk about anything else?” Kuroko quickly changes the topic but Kagami still grimaces. 

“Also said he was trying to find a way to help me. Don’t know when he became so lovable.” Kagami says sarcastically.

“We’re all doing what we can to help you, Kagami-kun.” Kuroko replies and Kagami clenches his fists. Kuroko has made a mistake again.

Rewind.

“Midorima dropped by yesterday.”

“That was nice of him.”

Kagami scoffs. “Yeah, right, it was just weird. We were never good friends.”

“What better way than to start now?”

Kagami looks at Kuroko with an incredulous look. “You’re kidding me, right, Kuroko? Like I could ever become friends with a guy like him. Besides, he’s too busy to even visit anymore.”

“I’m never too busy to meet you, Kagami-kun.” Kuroko declares and finally, he get to see Kagami smile.

“Yeah, I know. Thanks for being here with me, Kuroko. I appreciate it.”

Kuroko doesn’t regret shaving ten minutes from his lifespan, not when he finally got Kagami to smile again.

* * *

“How’s Seirin doing these days?”

“They’ve all gone their separate ways, sadly.” Kuroko answers without much thought as he sits on the chair next to Kagami’s bed. It’s as untouched as always and Kuroko begins to despair even further.

“Really? Who’s gone?” Kagami asks curiously.

“I heard that our former coach and captain are currently in Hawaii for their honeymoon.”

Kagami rolls his eyes but doesn’t have much malice in them. “Well, I’m glad to hear that. It’s nice to know that people I care for are finding love.”

“We always knew they would end up together, didn’t we?” Kuroko reminisces and Kagami agrees.

“It was suffocating how much sexual tension they had in high school. That is, while I was still in the club.” Kagami trails off, his eyes going misty. Kuroko stops in his steps and prepares to rewind. But before he can, Kagami begins to speak again.

“Guess I should send them a card to congratulate them and their marriage. When are they coming back?” Kagami asks and Kuroko doesn’t answer him for a few seconds.

Then, “They might visit you soon, Kagami-kun. You can tell them in person.”

“You think?” Kagami says as he closes his eyes. “Good, then. It’s been a while since I’ve seen their faces. It’s been a while since I’ve seen Seirin in general these days. Too busy to visit an old friend, I guess.” He comments with a sad smile.

“Kagami-kun…”

“It makes sense, though, doesn’t it? I mean, it’s been over five years. Obviously they would move on without me. They have their own lives, so why should they broad over one as insignificant as mine?” Kagami continues and it breaks Kuroko’s heart to hear him say such things about himself.

“Kagami-kun, please don’t think like that. Your life is not insignificant. You’ve changed so many people. You’ve changed us for the better.”

Kagami laughs heartlessly. “Right, sure I have, Kuroko. Don’t lie to me. If I was such a big impact on them, why haven’t they come to at least say hi? I’m just not important to them anymore. They’ve moved on to more important things. I’m just a extra who’s had a bit of bad luck.”

“But I’m still here.” Kuroko quietly says, unable to stop himself, and Kagami stops his negative thinking with slight shock. He then rubs the back of his neck with guilt.

“I know, Kuroko. Thank you for always visiting. You truly are the only good friend I have.”

Kuroko clenches his fists as he hears those dreaded words. He is not a good friend. He is not good in general. It kills him, even more so than usual because he’s still trying to gain Kagami’s approval of their friendship when Kuroko has done nothing to deserve it.

He’s selfish.

He knows.

And that’s why he rewinds and this time, though only a few minutes have past, his selfish reasons allow his lifespan to shorten twenty minutes more.

“How’s Seirin doing these days?”

“Well. And how are you doing, Kagami-kun?”

“With these legs? Same old, same old. It’d be nice if they could visit anytime soon. Though it might be difficult for some, I guess.”

“Maybe, but with a bit more time, they might be able to come.”

Kagami’s eyes sparkle and Kuroko has to remind himself to beg the others to come one day, preferably soon. “You think so?”

Kuroko nods. “Of course.”

* * *

“I saw Murasakibara and Akashi on TV today.”

Kuroko takes the burger wrapper from Kagami’s hand and neatly throws it away in the trash can. “Is that so?”

“You don’t sound surprised. I’m guessing you knew?”

“They’re famous, Kagami-kun. I’m surprised you didn’t realize it sooner.”

“They’re in channels I don’t watch, Kuroko. Obviously, I wouldn’t know. I was just flipping through everything because I was getting bored of watching the same old basketball matches in the NBA and suddenly, I see Murasakibara with his own cooking show and Akashi beating everyone at shogi.”

“Murasakibara-kun and Akashi-kun always had their own talents. It’s no surprise that they would end up where they are today.” Kuroko replies and Kagami grimaces.

“Goddamn it, another two completely ahead of me. Why can’t time freeze for just a moment so that I can get my own life back together?” Kagami despairs and Kuroko still doesn’t have any words to say.

He rewinds instead.

“I saw Murasakibara and Akashi on TV today.”

“Good for them.”

“Already ahead of me, huh?”

“You still have time.”

Kagami closes his eyes, making Kuroko unable to read his emotions. The red-head begins to hum. “Is that so?”

He doesn’t believe it. And somehow, neither can Kuroko.

* * *

“How’s that bastard Aomine doing?”

Kuroko doesn’t even answer. Instead, he rewinds and this time, he doesn’t enter the room. He merely leaves, waiting for tomorrow to come.

Another thirty minutes off his own life. It’s worth it, though, because if he had answered Kagami’s question, that Aomine was in the nationals playing as Japan’s representative for basketball players under twenty-five, Kagami would have probably lost it then and there.

* * *

“I don’t want to do this anymore.”

Kuroko freezes. “Excuse me?”

Kagami hides himself under his arms that is covering his eyes. “I can’t do this anymore, Kuroko. I can’t.”

“I don’t understand.” Kuroko responds, his hands trembling slightly.

“I can’t take it. I’ve had enough.”

“Kagami-kun, I don’t understand. What are you saying?” Kuroko presses and Kagami, in a fit of anger, grabs Kuroko by the helm of his shirt and brings it close to him. He looks at Kuroko straight in the eye and to the smaller man’s surprise, Kagami is crying.

“I’m done living. I have nothing else left. Everyone is surpassing me, leaving me, moving on without me. I saw fucking Aomine playing on national television. My own rival; the only fucking person I could match up with has gone on to be a fucking superstar. A top basketball player. Everything I could have ever wanted but can’t have anymore.”

“Kagami-kun…”

He cuts Kuroko off. “Everyone, everyone around me is fulfilling everything they want while I’m here grasping onto a hope that isn’t even there anymore. I’ve wasted so much time because of these stupid legs and I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want this anymore.”

Kuroko struggles to free himself from Kagami’s grip but realizes he himself is also too weak. He can’t possibly free himself when there’s so much weighing him down. “Kagami-kun, you can’t possibly mean what you’re saying. You have so much left to live for. If we can just wait a bit more —”

“I’ve been waiting for five years, Kuroko, and it’s nearing six now. Six whole years without any progress. How much longer do I have to wait? How much time is left before I can be granted this hope I was given ages ago? What makes you think time is working with us?”

“I—”

“It’s not.” Kagami cuts off, and he pushes Kuroko back to his seat. “Time is never working with us. Look at me, Kuroko. Look at me and tell me everything is going to be ok. Tell me.”

Kuroko does as he’s told and can’t help but look away.

Kagami sees the movement and laughs heartlessly. “See? Even you think it’s impossible to go back to the way things were. I’ve lost too much. I’ve lost my legs, my muscles and even my happiness towards basketball. There’s no reason for me to live now. I just want to go. I want to forget this pain.”

“Kagami-kun, you can’t.” Kuroko whispers.

“And why can’t I?” Kagami challenges.

“Because…”

Kagami waits for Kuroko to give him something to grasp onto, but the teal-haired man is too late to answer and Kagami closes his eyes in frustration. More tears well down his face.

“See? You can’t even give me a proper answer. Even you think it’s hopeless.”

“I didn’t—”

“Just give it up, Kuroko. Please, just let me die.”

And that does it for the smaller, crying man. Without even realizing it, they’re back in time.

“And why can’t I?” Kagami asks once again, looking at Kuroko as if he’s a man of miracles, and maybe to some extent, he is.

Without any hesitation this time, Kuroko begins to speak. “Because life is short, Kagami-kun. Life is so short that so many people struggle to live. They’ll do what they can to lengthen the time they have alive because it’s worth it to take it till the end. They’ll struggle, they’ll hurt, they’ll even almost die just to prolong the inevitable because, in just a blink of an eye, they’ll be gone. _We’ll_ be gone. I don’t want you to shorten your already short life, Kagami-kun. I don’t want you to leave me the moment I look away, the moment I blink my eyes, because you’re life is just too precious for me to lose.”

Kagami cries harder. “But I’m already struggling so much, Kuroko.”

“And do you think that all this struggling will not lead to somewhere? Do you really believe that karma is so cruel that even after going through all of this when you did not deserve it, you will not get a good end?”

“I don’t know anymore.” Kagami whispers, his mind torn between two polar opposites.

“if you don’t know, then at least listen to me.” Kuroko says, gripping Kagami’s cold hands close to his heart. It doesn’t warm up. “We all have such short lives to live. Please don’t end it when you haven’t seen it through till the end. It’s just not worth it.”

Kagami is silent but Kuroko knows he still doesn’t believe his words. So, he keeps going. He takes the risk. “Then,” he begins slowly, ‘if you can’t live for yourself, at least live for me.”

“What?” Kagami doubles back in shock.

“Live for me. I do not want to live in a world where Kagami Taiga no longer exists.”

“That’s… a lot to ask for for a man who can no longer walk, Kuroko.”

“Then take that burden on your shoulders instead. You are strong, Kagami-kun, more so than you think. Become even stronger.”

Kagami grows quiet as he takes in Kuroko’s words. And slowly, he opens his mouth. “Okay. I’ll try. For you, Kuroko, my one and only friend.”

Kuroko beams but Kagami still looks so tired. “Thank you.” Kuroko comments with relief. He doesn’t see it. Or, it’s more like, he refuses to see it.

Kagami nods and slowly begins to melt in his bed. “Do you mind leaving for today? I’m feeling a bit tired.”

Kuroko looks at him with a critical eye but Kagami returns it with a smile. It’s not as big as Kuroko would’ve liked but it’ll have to do for now. “Don’t worry. You’ve convinced me to live for another day. I’m living for you, Kuroko.”

The teal-haired man nods in understanding but still takes slow steps in leaving. He looks at Kagami with sadness and glances at the bed sheets that cover Kagami’s deformed, skeleton-like legs.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Kuroko asks and Kagami nods, shaking his hand in goodbye.

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.”

* * *

But tomorrow doesn’t come.

In the end, Kagami couldn’t live for Kuroko because the fact that he wasn’t strong enough to live for himself was too painful for him to live with.

* * *

How ephemeral life was.

So ephemeral that life would just die in a blink of an eye.

As Kuroko looked up and let the rain pour down his face, the sky covered with bleary, grey clouds, he realized just how short-lived everything was.

So short-lived that he lost one of the most important things in his life in a single second.

He stood in front of a grave as everyone else began to cry for Kagami Taiga to return. Kise came back from France as soon as he heard the news. Murasakibara had his show on hold as he rushed back to Tokyo. Midorima and Akashi met up along the way, their stomachs filling withunbearable guilt. Seirin had no words. Aomine couldn’t even come because of the pain.

And Kuroko began to reflect on the life he himself had.

He always had this power to rewind time. He once believed it to be blessing every time he wanted to re-do what could be re-done.

But everything had a price and there was no such thing as a free lunch.

It wasn’t until he rewinded time to spend one more day with his childhood friend that he realized the price of his powers.

He heard the voice in his head as he got ready to rewind.

_This will take off three days off your life. Are you still willing?_

At the time, Kuroko didn’t care for the length of his life because he was young and inexperienced. And it never occurred to him that the amount of time he rewinded would not be the same as the life shortened.

But that wasn’t the case. Instead, the amount of life that would be taken out would increase the bigger the objective was to rewind. The bigger the reason, the bigger the sacrifice.

So, from then on, he became cautious.

Cautious to the point of becoming selfish and fearing for his own life.

Life was short, so, so short, and Kuroko had always known.

But he was selfish, and such a power was too hard to ignore. There would always be moments in which he would want to re-do to make it better.

So, he started it here and there.

He started with the small mistakes during middle school, while he was still with the rest of the Generation of Miracles.

But when they began to go astray and the voice had told him it would take at least three years off his life to go back to the way it was, he refused because he was too selfish and feared for his short, ephemeral life.

And look where that had put him.

Everything broken. Almost unfixable.

But, like a miracle, it became better over time when he arrived to Seirin and met one of the best people in his life, Kagami. He could reconcile with his middle school friends again, and helped everyone for the better.

From this, Kuroko believed that with patience, what could not be re-done would instead become better over time. He didn’t have to use his powers to make the unfixable fixed again. And he was still playing around with his powers by making his life with Kagami better whenever he could.

But when the accident happened that took Kagami’s ability to play basketball and Kuroko was ready to rewind, the voice in his mind asked him if it would be okay to take off at least half of the life that he had left. And he didn’t even know how much life he had left.

And he was scared.

So scared and so selfish.

As such, he stayed quiet and let Kagami suffer for years instead.

Maybe it was the delusion that time would heal all wounds that Kuroko merely kept an eye on him. Maybe it was the strong belief that the doctors’ words would really be correct and they would find Kagami a cure soon.

But one thing Kuroko knew for sure was that he didn’t rewind because he was too selfish of his own life to save another.

And now, he was paying the ultimate price.

It never occurred to him that his life would be so interconnected with Kagami’s. Now that his best friend was gone, it was as if half of Kuroko’s life had disappeared in an instant.

And the guilt that he could have stopped this ages ago was eating him alive.

How ephemeral life was.

So ephemeral that Kuroko decided immediately what he had to do.

* * *

The day is as clear and blue as one can get, not a single cloud in the air. The sun, being spring, is just out of reach and barely shining, letting the cool air mix into the sunny atmosphere. It is also a new dawn of a new day, with the new school year just around the corner, and Kagami Taiga strides into the streets with a confident aura around him.

He goes to meet his smaller, teal-haired friend, trustworthy and fun to be around. A basketball idiot, like he is, which is always a plus.

He goes with a giddy emotion because he’s just come back from the US and he’s back now.

He goes with reassurance as he know he’ll be going back to his regular pattern: sleep, eat, school, basketball, basketball, and more basketball. 

The day is as clear and blue as one can get. Kagami walks purposefully and so lost in thought that he doesn’t hear nor see a car running at the speed of light, ignorant of the sidewalk that is specifically designed for pedestrians. It propels itself towards the unsuspecting man, its wheels ready to hit his body with unimaginable force that would most likely leave him broken and gone for good; handicapped and unable to walk ever again.

The day is as clear and blue as one can get; that is, until it is suddenly spewing red and Kagami’s vision blurs as he is pushed aside and a loud thud is heard. When his vision clears, he sees a very familiar teal-haired man on the side with red pooling on the ground, growing larger by the second.

The day, which was once as clear and blue as it could get, is now filled with red, red, and more red as Kagami’s throat starts hurting and he hears himself screaming into oblivion as he holds dearly onto his dying friend’s body.

* * *

For Kuroko, the moment he pushes Kagami out of the way and lets his own body feel the impact of the car, he knows that his life is done.

The voice had warned him that rewinding time to bring back someone from the dead would cost the rest of his remaining life, and as he begins to recount all the times he used his power, he realizes that he probably could have lived until he was sixty, maybe even seventy.

But as he agreed to use his power to save his best friend, he realizes that his life is now done and there is nothing left to shave.

And somehow, he is okay with that. For the sake of his friend, he can’t be selfish anymore.

He hears screaming in the distance, and he can hear his name being called thousands of times. He opens his eyes a fraction, feeling the blood in his system leave, and sees a blurry red-head who can’t seem to stop crying.

“Kuroko, stay with me. For the love of god, please stay with me! Why did you do this? Why would you save me?” Kagami screams in anguish, begging his friend to live, and they both hear a siren wailing not far from here.

Kuroko doesn’t have enough time to explain; this he already knew. So instead he weakly places his hands on Kagami’s, the presence alone enough to get the red-head’s attention, and he smiles as hard as he can.

“Be…cause… I… wanted to…” Kuroko says with his remaining strength and before he closes his eyes to let the darkness seep in and let himself reflect once more on his past, present, and future actions, he guides Kagami to the left pocket of his jeans, in which the red-head feels crumbling paper.

Kagami takes it out and sees that some of the blood has seeped through it, but not enough that it’s hard to see the writing. He looks desperately at Kuroko to make him explain what this is, but by then, Kuroko has already closed his eyes and left the world.

Kuroko reflects on his past, present, and future actions.

In the past, he was selfish and only thought about himself. His power was used only for his selfish uses and that’s what got them to Kagami’s breaking point.

Now, in the present, he’s hopefully corrected it by finally using his gift for others. The price was big, and he knew it the moment he decided in front of Kagami’s grave, but if it’s enough to have his best friend breathe and live, to carry out his dream and go beyond, then he would gladly do it again.

Soon, in the future, when Kagami reads the letter he has painstakingly written for him before going back, then hopefully, he will see Kagami’s smile again.

But for now, he bids farewell to his short, ephemeral life, and smiles as he agrees that he has spent it well.

* * *

_Kagami-kun,_

_I’m sorry for what I did. I’m sorry I left you so early. I’m sorry for leaving you in this position._

_I know what you must be thinking; three thoughts, in fact._

_First, you must be wondering why I pushed you to safe your life when it was at the cost of mine? That’s a very simple answer: because you are my friend and you deserve the entire world. I have been blessed every day since the moment I met you, and I couldn’t have asked for anything better. I knew that if the car crashed into you, then you wouldn’t have been able to live. You wouldn’t have been able to carry on and live a fulfilling life._

_And I want you to have that. I want you to have such a fulfilling, exhilarating life, one that you can look back on and say that it was a good life spent. We live such short-lived lives, Kagami-kun, so much so that we have to make the best out of it while we still have the time. I’ve already lived it, and now it’s your turn._

_This leads me to what must be your second thought: why does it feel like I knew what was going to happen? That’s because it’s true, I did know what was going to happen. You are the only person I will tell of my secret and that is because we’ve been through so much together and I can trust you._

_I was born with a special gift: the gift of time manipulation. I could bend time at will, rewind when it was most favorable. I was able to go back minutes, hours, even days and months if I wanted to because my gift allowed me to do so. But it was not without its price. The time I rewinded was proportional to a shortened life span. The bigger the reason for rewinding, the more my life was shortened._

_You were hit by that same car on the same day, and as a result, you lost the ability to use your legs. The doctors promised us that they would find some way to keep you afloat again, but after almost six years of waiting for nothing, you ended up losing hope and left the world without me._

_I was selfish, so selfish that even with my rewinding time, it still doesn’t lessen the guilt. I had the chance to rewind time the moment you were told of your diagnosis but I was informed by my gift that doing so would cut my life in half. I was scared because I wanted to keep living. So I made you suffer instead._

_I’m so sorry. I never meant such a thing to happen. I had hope and belief that the doctors were correct and we would only have to wait a little before things could be fixed, but it couldn’t. It took too long and I’m sorry it took me this long to revert things to the way it was._

_I was and still am selfish. For not being able to help you then, and for leaving you now._

_Which leads me to the third thought that you might be thinking right now: how are you going to live after knowing that I sacrificed my life for you?_

_Simple._

_If you cannot live for yourself, then at least live for me._

_And when you’ve done that, live for yourself. That’s the one piece of advice I was never able tosay before and I’ve regretted it ever since._

_Kagami-kun, you have been one of the best people I have ever met and it is without doubt that I can look back on my life and say with utmost confidence that I have lived a fulfilling life because of you._

_It was short, I agree, but that’s what makes us so precious. We may be ephemeral but we are ethereal as well, and I hope that you can continue a life of fortune and blessing._

_Carry on, become who you want to be, and smile because you have no idea how many times that smile has saved me._

_Cheers, Kagami-kun, to us, the ephemeral ones._

_Kuroko Tetsuya_

* * *

As soon as the letter falls to the ground, there’s a shock in his brain and memories begin to flood in as Kagami remembers the rewinded past. He remembers the talks he had with Kuroko, the regular visits that his best friend made when no one else would, and the devastating moment in which he decided it wasn’t worth it anymore when it should have been.

He remembers the small moments as well, while they were still in high school. The small insignificant changes that had made his first year all that better. Those moments that were worth reliving again, both he and Kuroko had relived it.

He wonders how he could possibly remember a time that was manipulated to be forgotten, and then it hits him.

It’s hard to forget someone who has given you so much to remember.

Kagami picks the letter up from the floor and and looks at it one more time.

Just as the letter says, he smiles, a smile that should be cherished for all eternity, and in a cracking voice, he replies to Kuroko, who is listening from above,

“Cheers, Kuroko, to the ephemeral ones.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any questions or confusions about this story (which I understand might be confusing to some because it's midnight and my brain isn't working anymore), then please feel free to comment and I'll answer you as soon as I can :)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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